A Fairy Tale: Jacob Zhu-The Spy from Catchfools, China

   Jacob Zhu

The Spy from Catchfools, China

(A Fairy Tale)

By FW#347367

 

The rebellious college students head off to school at Taiwan University, but on the way they are distracted by some Chinese music and crowds and they follow the sounds until they find themselves in a crowd of people, all congregated to see the Great Jacob Zhu. The students sell their school books for tickets to the show. During the performance, the Coo Loud marionettes see the rebellious college students and cry out, "It is our comrades!" The audience grows angry, and the KMT comes out to see what is going on. Upset, they decide to use the rebellious students as firewood to cook their dinner. The students plead to be saved and the KMT gives in. When they learn about the students poor fathers, they give the students five gold pieces for their fathers.

As the students head home to give the coins to their fathers, they meet Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud who convince them that if they plant their coins in the Field of Chinese influence outside the city of Catchfools, then they will grow into a tree with a thousand gold coins, or perhaps two thousand. The rebellious students head off on a journey to Catchfools with Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud. On the way, they stop at a night market in Taipei, where Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud gorge themselves on food at the students’ expense. Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud take off ahead of the students and disguise themselves as anti-WTO protesters while the students continue on toward Catchfools. David, the blue-haired fairy, appears, telling them to go home and give the coins to their fathers but the radical students ignore him. As they pass through the forest, the disguised Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud jump out and try to rob the students, who hide the money in their mouths. In the struggle that follows the students bite Jacob’s hand off and escape deeper into the forest where they see a house with a green flag ahead. Stopping to knock on the door, they are greeted by old Sun Yat-Sen who says he is dead and waiting for the hearse. However, as they speak to him, the “bandits” catch them and hang them in trees. After a while Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud get tired of waiting for the students to suffocate and leave.                    

The Blue-haired Fairy, David, asks the students what happened and they tell him. He then asks them where the gold coins are. The rebellious students lie, saying they have lost them. As they utter this lie (and more) their noses begin to grow until they are so long they cannot turn around in the room. The Fairy David knows that it is their lies that are making their noses grow long, and then calls in a flock of woodpeckers to chisel down their noses.

The radical Taiwan University students and the Blue-haired Fairy decide to become brothers and sisters, and the Fairy sends for Sun Yat-Sen to come live with them in the forest. The students head out to meet their fathers, but on the way they meet Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud again (whom they had not recognized as the bandits, even though they had a hint from the Jacob Zhu’s bandaged hand — which he had bitten earlier; Coo Loud tells him Jacob Zhu had shown mistaken kindness to the Taiwan Independence Party). They remind the students of the Field of Miracles, and finally they agree to go with them and plant their gold. After half a day's journey, they reach the city of Catchfools, China. Everyone in the country has done something exceedingly foolish and now suffers as a result.

When they reach the "Field of Miracles", the students bury their gold then run off to wait the twenty minutes it will take for their gold to grow. After twenty minutes they return, only to find no tree and — even worse — no gold coins. Realizing what has happened, they go to Catchfools and tell the judge, an old gorilla named Mao, about Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud. The judge (as is the custom in Catchfools) sends the students to prison for their foolishness for four months. While they are in prison, however, the emperor of Catchfools, Deng Xiao-Ping, declares a celebration, and all prisoners are set free.

The radical students from Taiwan University try to find a place to stay. They pass two beggars, who are Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud. Coo Loud is, ironically, really blind now, and Jacob Zhu is actually lame, tailless (having sold his tail for money) and mangy. They plead for food or money, but the students will give them nothing, telling them it serves them right for their wickedness.

 J